These are actual signs seen across
- At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in
a glass container."
- In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses
uncivil ought to see the manager."
- On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted
to the full extent of the law. --Sisters of Mercy"
- On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the
- In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night
- In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
- In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
- In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning
- In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
- On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the
- On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest
possible prices and workmanship."
- At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
- On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now
available in multi-packs."
- In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your
wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
- In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
- In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and
- In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool
suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
- On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
- Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
- In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated
when you can come here?"
- In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
- On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
- In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person
to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
- In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking
flowers from any but their own graves."
- On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
- On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
- On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this
road is impassable."
- Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't
read this, it's time to wash your car."
- And apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise untouched
by human presence, there is a sign that says, "Do not throw stones
at this sign."