Speeding Older Woman
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.