|God's Voice Mail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as
a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what
if God decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling My
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests,
Press 2 for Thanksgiving,
Press 3 for Complaints,
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
What if God used the familiar excuse..."I'm sorry, all
of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However,
your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order
it was received, so please stay on the line"
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call
God in prayer:
If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1,
For Michael, Press 2,
For a directory of other Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you
are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press
5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound
key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter
J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of
the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed
for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray
again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance
when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.
THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND HE LISTENS WHEN WE